People make a big deal of the wedding night. It’s not surprising that both men and women have fantasies about it.
For some people, the wedding night can be a big thing because it is the first time they have sex. Although most people have had sex before the wedding night (either with the person they are getting married to or with someone else), there is still a small group of people who wait until the wedding night to have sex.
This can create a lot of pressure and expectations. You can still have an amazing wedding night though! It’s not going to be the same as someone who has already experienced sex. But remember, this is your night!
For others who have had sex before marriage, they want to make the wedding night stand out somehow. They want to make it special, even though they’ve already experienced sex.
Remember that the wedding night isn’t just about sex, though. Bluebella, a lingerie company, did a survey that found that as much as 52% of couples didn’t have sex at all on their wedding night! Many of those people said it was because they were too drunk or tired but there are lots of other reasons people might not have sex on their wedding night.
There’s so much more to the wedding night than sex. Even if you aren’t having sex on your wedding night or something happens that prevents it, your wedding night can still be the night of your dreams.
First-Time Sex On The Wedding Night
If your wedding night is going to be the first time you have sex, don’t panic! It’s easy to get worked up about wedding night sex if you’re a virgin. Here are some wedding night sex tips for virgins.
- Don’t hide your virginity. It’s pretty hard to hide the fact that you’re a virgin when you’re engaged to be married to someone who is not but some might choose to cloak that information. Be honest about it and tell your fiance that your wedding night is going to be the first time you’ve had sex.
- Talk about sex with your fiance. Even if you are waiting until the wedding night to have sex, you should talk about it together. Discuss your expectations and needs and tell them if you’re nervous. You should also discuss their expectations. Everyone is unique when it comes to sex, no matter how much experience you do or do not have!
- Get comfortable with your body. If you haven’t been masturbating already, you should start. Masturbation is natural and normal and it is a good way to understand what you like and don’t like. Learn how to give yourself an orgasm. You might even consider using a sex toy. It’s not a necessity as you can give yourself pleasure without them but for a woman, using a sex toy can be a good way to prepare for penetration.
- Bring lube for the wedding night. Lube is not just for older people who have issues with producing natural lubrication. Lube is fun! It feels good and it makes the first time a whole lot more pleasurable.
- Go slow. If you’ve talked to your partner about the fact that the wedding night is going to be your first time having sex, going slow should be a given. You may have to ask them to slow it down though. Communicate as you’re having sex.
- Remember that sex isn’t just about penetration. Don’t rush into it. Take time to explore and enjoy each others’ bodies. Touch, lick, kiss, and enjoy every moment.
Wedding Night Sex Can Be Unique
Even if you’ve had sex with the person you’re about to marry a million times, you can make your wedding night sexcapades unique. You can make it a memorable evening if you put a little thought into it.
Here are some ideas to make wedding night sex special, even if you have had sex with your partner many times.
- Do something you have never done. This doesn’t have to be something kinky or completely bizarre. It could be something as simple as bringing in some massage oil or playing with a new sex toy.
- Watch each other. Have you ever seen your partner masturbate or let them watch you? This can be a fun way to begin the night. Tell them what you’re thinking as you watch or let them watch.
- Make it a foreplay marathon. Many people think of marathon sex as an extended period of time where each person has as many orgasms as possible. Go in the other direction. Have as much sexual activity as you can without actually having an orgasm. Use toys, lotions, fingers, tongues, and anything else you can think of to bring your partner as close to orgasm as you dare. Then back off and let them do the same to you. Repeat as many times as you want. As long as you are enjoying it, you’ll have a great time. When you’re both exhausted and ready to get some sleep, finish off with the most mind-blowing orgasms you’ll ever have.
- Fulfill a fantasy. If you’ve been having sex with your partner for some time, you probably already know what kind of fantasies they have. This might not be the best time to invite your best friend to join you in a threesome (but who knows, maybe it is!) but there are probably at least a couple fantasies you haven’t indulged in yet.
What If She Has Her Period?
If she has her period, it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that sex is off the table – or off the bed! Period sex can actually be amazing. According to Bodyform, 21% of adults have no issues with period sex. But that means 79% of adults do!
If you’re going to have sex while she’s on her period, there are several things you can do to make it more pleasurable for both of you.
Many people avoid period sex because they don’t like the mess. But there’s no mess if you’re in the shower or in a bathtub. If you know she’s going to have her period on your wedding night, make sure you have a hotel suite that either has a big shower stall or a bathtub meant for two people.
You can also bring along protection for the bed if you’d rather not have sex in the tub or the shower. Bring a mattress liner that will fit the hotel bed and your own sheets. Then you don’t have to worry about staining the hotel room property.
A bonus of period sex is that it provides lots of natural lubrication. If you’ve never had period sex before, you might be surprised at how very erotic it can be.
What If Sex Just Isn’t Going To Happen?
There’s a multitude of reasons why sex just might be something you can even consider on your wedding night. Maybe one of you has an injury that makes it impossible. Maybe she has her period and neither of you is comfortable with period sex. That’s ok. Not everyone has to be into it.
So, maybe you’ve decided that sex is just not going to be a part of your wedding night. That’s not a big deal. You have the rest of your lives together to have amazing sex.
What do you do on your wedding night to make it memorable if you’re not having sex? Here are some ideas.
#1 Get The Amazing Hotel Suite Anyway
As long as it is in your budget, you should get the beautiful hotel suite even if you’re not having wedding night sex. Hotels are for more than sex! You should be able to enjoy a special night just for the two of you in a luxury suite anyway.
#2 Enjoy A Bubble Bath Together
Even if you’re not having sex, a nice long soak in a bathtub with water jets and lots of bubbles can be very pleasurable. Settle in for a nice long soak with some snacks and wine. Lay in each other’s arms, caress her skin and talk about the future you are building together. Maybe you’ll talk about the trips you’ll take or the home you’ll build together or you might even talk about the children you want to have. Nothing has to be decided at that moment. Just enjoy the hot water and daydream together.
#3 Open Presents
There are often traditions about when presents should be opened and who should be there but this is your wedding night. No one can tell you that you can’t open the presents together in your hotel room. Have fun ripping into the wrapping and deciding which present to keep and which ones need to be returned for an immediate refund.
#4 Talk About The Honeymoon
Chances are, you’ve got a whole honeymoon planned. You might even be leaving the next day. If you haven’t made specific plans, you can talk about the things you’d like to do.
For some couples, the honeymoon has to be held off for a time after the wedding. Weddings can cost a lot of money so many married couples are having their honeymoons later in the year. If this is the case, you could start doing some planning. Look at costs and make a budget. Maybe you can start booking flights or hotel rooms.
Chances are, during the reception or the dinner, you likely didn’t have a lot of time to eat. You might have been stressed out and not had much of an appetite or there may have just been too many people demanding your attention.
After you’ve disappeared to your room and there is no one around might be a great time for the two of you to have a good meal.
If you know that sex is not on the agenda on your wedding night, you could arrange for the hotel you’re staying at to set up a buffet of food in your room at a certain time. You can have a hot meal or maybe you just want some casual meat and cheese trays. Get one of those fancy charcuterie boards you’ve been eyeing up. And don’t forget dessert. This is no time for a diet.
You could even order in your favorite pizza or burgers if you want. This is your night. It’s totally all about you.
There’s nothing wrong with getting a good night’s sleep on your wedding night. If you’re leaving for your honeymoon the next day you’re going to be busy packing up and boarding planes. You might have to get up early.
If your honeymoon is jam-packed and full of activities, there might not be a lot of time for sleep then, either.
Go have a nice hot shower or a bath, climb into your comfy jammies (or some skin-to-skin naked cuddling is always comforting), and cuddle up in bed together. Talk about your future until you’re tired or put on a movie and fall asleep in each other’s arms. It might be the best sleep you’ve ever had!
Your Wedding Night Is For The Two Of You
Even though people will tease you and ask you about the wedding night, it doesn’t mean you have to tell them anything. Your wedding night is for the two of you, and not for anyone else.
When it comes right down to it, you can do anything you want on your wedding night. Have sex or don’t have sex. Have deep conversations or just go to sleep. Have some drinks or sober up.
On your wedding night, the most important thing to remember is that the two of you are starting your lives together. You had the wedding day of your dreams. Even if it didn’t go perfectly, it is a day that the two of you will always remember.
You’ll tell your friends and family and children (if you decide you want to have children) about your wedding day for years to come. But your wedding night – that’s all about the two of you. You don’t have to tell anyone about it if you don’t want to.
Over the years, you may find that the wedding night you had together is the part of your wedding the two of you remember most. Focus on each other and do what makes you happy!