14 Ways to Spice Up Married Sex
No matter how long you’ve been married, having the same kind of sex all the time can get boring. When you get bored, you have less sex. If you have some ideas for spicing up your sex life, it can make it a lot more interesting!
Did you know that 12% of married couples haven’t had sex for at least three months or longer? Why? There are many reasons why married couples might have less sex but adding things that make it more interesting is a good way to increase the frequency.
If you want to spice up your sex life, here are 14 things you can do:
- Re-create the first time you had sex. Was it in the back of a car? Did you go on a date first? Who initiated sex? Re-create the whole experience in as much detail as possible. If you got caught by your parents you might want to skip that part though!
- Pick your partner up in a bar. It’s always fun to pretend you’re just a couple of people who just met. Go to a bar with a lot of people. Enter the bar separately. Feel each other out. Flirt from across the room. Buy her a drink. Dance. Then give her your best moves, pick her up, and take her home!
- Be someone else. Arrange to meet your partner and pretend to be someone you’re not. Change your name. Create a persona. You can put on clothes you might not normally wear or put on a wig. Use language you wouldn’t normally use. There are so many ways this could go you might want to do this one several times!
- Schedule a mini-romp. You don’t have to have marathon sessions every time you have sex. It can be hard to fit sex into your day when you’re busy. So, why not plan a quickie? Meet at home during lunch and have a fast one in the hallway. Jump in the shower for a fun time while you get clean. Find small pieces of time for quick and dirty fun. And if you schedule it, you’ll be thinking about it all day long and it will be that much more exciting.
- Play with sex toys. If you haven’t introduced sex toys into your marriage yet, it’s time you did. Remember that sex toys aren’t there to replace you. They are to add to your fun! There are loads of sex toys to choose from and ordering online is easier than ever. And don’t forget that sex toys aren’t just for her – there are loads of sex toys from men to choose from, too!
- Read or listen to erotica. Sexy stories are a great way to get turned on and explore fantasies. If you have a hard time talking about what turns you on, this is a great way to introduce the topic. Take turns choosing stories and reading to each other. Or download some audio erotica and dare each other to just lay there and listen. Once the story is over, you’ll be raring to go!
- Watch porn. If you’re more visually inclined, porn movies are a great way to explore fantasies together. There’s porn for everyone so even if one of you isn’t interested in watching anything too X-rated, you can look for a softer porn that you can both enjoy.
- Play without sex. There’s nothing more arousing than knowing that sex is off the table. Instead, focus on foreplay and sensuality. Make it a rule that there’s no penetration. Sensual massage, touching, kissing, licking – all these can be very arousing. Let your arousal simmer for a few hours or a few days. When you finally get around to doing the deed, you’ll both be good and worked up.
- Write a dirty letter. Besides the fact that it is a huge turn-on to read a letter filled with all the things someone would like to do to and for you, it’s an act of love. Ok, and lust. But knowing that your partner took the time to write the letter is a huge turn-on for some people. Keep your partner in mind when you write it. Will they enjoy a softer, more sensual love letter or will they get more excited with lots of detail and dirty words?
- Buy a custom erotica story. Did you know you can pay writers to write a story starring you and your partner? It’s true. There are lots of erotica writers that take commissions on erotic stories and you get to choose all the details. You could have the story of your wedding night written for you or you could have someone write a story about a particular fantasy you share.
- Change scenery. Let’s be real – sex in the same bed, night after night can get boring. So, take the sexy times somewhere else. If you like camping, find a secluded place to take your partner and have sex by a lake or a waterfall or under the stars. At the very least, get a hotel and treat your partner to a different bed.
- Play a sex game. There are so many games you could play. There are standard games like truth or dare or you can buy sex games from online stores. Sex games don’t have to be expensive. You can even make up your own.
- See a sex therapist. This doesn’t sound very sexy but a sex therapist can add a lot of value to your marriage. They can help you talk about fantasies, explore what might be holding you back, or just guide you toward being more open towards each other.
- Create a sex playlist – code in something you want. If you love music, let it inspire you. Create a list of songs that make you feel sexy and send it to your partner. You could even make a coded sex playlist by creating a list of songs that spell something out. Use the first letter or first word of songs to share a fantasy or even a request.
