This Is Why You Attract Assholes

attracting assholes

Have you found yourself in a string of relationships where you get treated like crap all the time? You seem to always attract the assholes and you can’t understand why. You’re a nice girl. You treat people well. You’re giving and undemanding.

But maybe that’s the problem…you’re too nice and assholes see you as an easy target.

The thing is men that are assholes rarely ever go after the confident and secure woman who has a lot of expectations. They know darned well that she’s not going to put up with their shenanigans! So, they don’t waste time on them.

Assholes like nice girls because nice girls are…nice. They are polite and don’t like to have fights and they don’t start arguments. They don’t get mad and they certainly would never make you feel bad by telling you they don’t like your behavior. It makes it so much easier for assholes to keep being assholes. He’s likely a narcissist!

If you seem to only attract assholes into your life, stop what you’re doing and read this and find out why!

You Attract Assholes Because You Aren’t Happy With Yourself

Jerks love it when they find a woman who isn’t happy with herself. When they find a girl like this they know it will be easy to make her think that their behavior is about her, and not about them.

Have you ever noticed that men come into your life when you’re feeling your lowest? Maybe you’re anxious or depressed or maybe you just got through a bad breakup. BOOM! In walks this guy who seems like he’s the solution to your problems.

But he’s not. He’s picking up on your vibes and he knows that you’ll be the perfect girlfriend because you don’t believe in your heart that you deserve to have a man who treats you well. He knows that if you think you need him, he can get away with a lot of bad behavior and he’ll take advantage of you until he gets bored.

If this sounds like it might be the case for you, take some time off from dating and start treating yourself well! Work on you until you do believe that you are worthy of a man who will treat you like a Queen!

You Attract Assholes Because You Desperately Want A Boyfriend

If you hate being single and you’re willing to date anyone because you don’t want to be alone, assholes will pick up on that. They can smell desperation a mile away! On top of that, they know that you’ll be less likely to break up with them when they do stupid shit.

As much as you hate being alone, the only solution to getting rid of the smell of desperation is to spend time alone and learn to enjoy your own company. It’s not easy at first but the more you practice the easier it gets. You’ll even learn to like it if you keep at it.

Be the person that makes you happiest. Assholes don’t want any part of that nonsense!

You Attract Assholes Because You Don’t Know What You Want

Photo by Aiman Zenn on Unsplash

All you know is that you want to be in a relationship. So, when he does something or doesn’t do something, you have no criteria to measure it against.

Before you go on your next date, think about what is most important to you. 

  • Do you want a guy with a great career or do you want a guy who likes to have fun?
  • Do you want a man who is close to his mom?
  • Do you want a guy who wants to spend lots of time with you or someone more independent?
  • Do you want someone funny?
  • Are political leanings important to you?
  • Does religion play a big part in your life?
  • Are you looking for someone to marry?

These are just some of the questions you can think about. When you know what you want though, it’s much easier to put the brakes on a relationship that isn’t making you happy.

You Attract Assholes Because You’re Too Accepting

There’s a big difference between being non-judgemental and overly accepting of people’s faults. You can be non-judgemental about the guy who is having a hard time finding and keeping a job. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept a boyfriend who lays around on the couch playing video games while you’re working and paying for everything!

Learn where to draw the line. Just because you don’t judge someone, it doesn’t mean you have to accept them as a boyfriend. You don’t have to accept someone’s bad behavior because they have past trauma or because they have issues with things.

You Attract Assholes Because You’re Not Looking Past The Image

Sometimes, we’re more in love with the idea of being in love than we are with the person. 

You love the idea of spending quiet nights in front of the fire with a man who dotes on you. But if his idea of a quiet night at home is you bringing him another beer and giving him a blow job, that’s not quite the same thing, is it? So don’t put up with that.

Think about what you really want in a relationship and don’t accept anything less. Remember, the image of a boyfriend is just a small piece of the picture. Sure, he might hold your hand when you go out in public but if he’s doing it to make sure he knows where you are at all points in the evening, that’s not healthy!

Look at the big picture and make sure you’re getting the whole thing and not just an image of what you want to see. Images are nice but they are brief and they don’t fulfill you.

When it comes right down to it, assholes love it when they find a woman who doesn’t know what she wants. If you’re focused on an image, accept a man even though his worse faults, and don’t like yourself much, you’re likely going to keep attracting assholes.

Step back and work on yourself!

Written by Autumn Seave