You’ve all had a jealous girlfriend at some point. She flips out if you look at another girl. When you’re busy, she expects you to pay attention to her. Basically, she wants all of you, all the time.
Your relationship doesn’t have to end because you’ve got a jealous girlfriend though. You just need to understand her and then you can find ways to help her feel more secure. When she feels safe and loved by you, she won’t be so upset when you have to talk to another woman or spend time away from your girlfriend.
Why Do Women Get Jealous?
There are a lot of different reasons why women can get jealous. The key is to understand why your girlfriend is jealous. That means you need to talk to her about it! As you discuss her jealousy, you will learn more about her and you’ll be able to figure out together what it is that makes her so jealous.
Here are some reasons your girlfriend might be jealous.
#1 She’s Been Done Wrong
If your girlfriend has been done wrong by a boyfriend in the past, she’s more likely to be suspicious of it in your relationship. She might have had boyfriends who cheated on her or lied to her about what they were doing or who they were with.
Secretive and lying boyfriends can really mess with a woman’s head. If this has been her experience with relationships in the past, she’s not going to easily forget about it. In fact, she probably never will. You’re going to have to give her time and prove that you’re not like her past boyfriends.
#2 Her Needs Aren’t Being Met
What’s her love language? Do you even know what love languages are? Because she does and she expects her needs to be met using her love language.
Some women need physical touch while others need gifts of love. Those are two of the love languages that women accept love in. The other love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service.
You might love your girlfriend very much and spend time with her but if her love language is words of affirmation she might be jealous about how you talk to other people.
#3 She Needs More Information
For some women, they need details to feel secure in your relationship. That means you can’t just tell her that you have to go on a business trip for the week. She needs to know who is going to be there if other business people are bringing their significant others, what kind of activities you’ll be doing in your off time, and when you’ll be available to talk to her.
When you provide her with details and more information about what’s going on in your life, it reassures her that you aren’t hiding anything from her. Make sure the information you’re giving her is accurate and if it changes, let her know. Lack of information or incorrect information makes her think that you’re hiding something.
#4 She Doesn’t Understand Your Behavior
Not everyone reacts the same way to situations and emotions. If you’re the type of person who needs time alone after you’ve had a long and stressful day at work and she doesn’t understand that it can cause jealousy.
She may not understand what you need and why you act in certain situations. If she doesn’t understand, she’s going to come to her own conclusions and that might result in jealousy. She may assume that your behavior suggests that you’re up to no good!
#5 She Feels Like Less
If people have always treated her like she’s not smart enough, pretty enough, or ambitious enough, she might have feelings of jealousy toward the other people in your life. It takes a lot of work to break the negative self-thoughts that others have pounded into a woman’s brain over the years.
When a woman doesn’t have a lot of confidence in herself, she’s likely to be jealous.
What Can You Do To Eliminate Jealousy From Your Relationship?
The first thing you need to understand is that jealousy is a habit. While it’s also an emotion, it is a way of life for some women. Jealousy is an emotion that rears its ugly head habitually because it’s just a first reaction.
Because it is often a personal issue (not always – sometimes there’s a very good reason for jealousy), it is something that both of you need to work at. But what can you do to help her?
Talk To Her
Before you can even think of helping her to feel less jealous, you need to understand what it is that makes her feel jealous. Let her know that it’s safe to talk to you about how she’s feeling.
Make sure that when you discuss her feelings of jealousy, you don’t judge her or gaslight her. Never tell her that her feelings are irrational or that she shouldn’t feel that way. She feels the way she feels and her feelings are valid.
Listen with an open mind.
Ask Her What She Needs From You
Sometimes, in order to slay that green-eyed jealous monster, all you have to do is a few simple things. Check in with her often. Don’t lie about where you are. Be open and honest with her.
Remember that she’s not likely trying to box you in. She just needs some reassurance.
Consider Therapy
If she’s willing to go to therapy with you (she may already be going on her own), this can be a very helpful tool for both of you. It can make your relationship stronger in the long term.
Going to therapy as a couple can help you build tools to communicate about a multitude of issues that you may encounter throughout your relationship. It will help you deal with jealousy and work together as a couple.
It’s important to remember that if you want your relationship to last, jealousy is not one person’s issue. It is something for you to work on together. If both of you are committed to working on your girlfriend’s jealousy, you can slay the green-eyed monster!
